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Monday, April 14, 2008

Stress Relievers




Stress Reliever # 1
Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife : You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'What other problem can
there be greater than this one?'
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Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and
lighten your burden.
Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
________________________________________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give
up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
________________________________________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 4
Wife to husband: 'What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the
night?'
Husband to wife: 'Golfing with friends, my dear.'
Wife to husband: 'What? At 2 am?!'
Husband to wife: 'Yes, We used night clubs.'
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Stress Reliever # 5
Father to son after exam: 'let me see your report card.'
Son: 'My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.'
________________________________________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 6
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word 'beans'..
'My father grows beans,' said one student.
'My father cooks beans,' said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: 'We are all human beans.'
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Stress Reliever # 7
Interviewer to Millionaire: 'To whom do you owe your success as a
millionaire to?'
Millionaire: 'I owe everything to my wife.'
Interviewer: 'Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?'
Millionaire: 'A Billionaire'
________________________________________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 8
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
________________________________________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 9
A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?
He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone.
________________________________________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 10
Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I'm the first man you are
sleeping with?
Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!
________________________________________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 11
Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S.?
Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side.
________________________________________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 12
A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me - my pretty face or
my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor.
________________________________________________________________________
Stress Reliever # 13
Doctor to his lady patient: You look terribly weak and exhausted!
Are you having your meals three times a day as I have advised?
Lady replied: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day.


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